No Can Do, Rachel Zoe

Man oh man, how much do I dislike Rachel Zoe? Granted, I know nothing about her as an individual, other than the fact that she's dealthy skinny (that says something... she either does drugs or doesn't eat).

Every time I see some starlet trot down the red carpet in the latest Zoe ensemble or carrying her clutches, I want to gag. I'm talking about little starlets who are supposedly 'fashionistas'. It should take more than an unlimited clothing budget, designer freebies and a stylist to be called a fashionista.

(That's part of the reason why I have trouble with Vanity Fair's Best Dressed list. Half the people on the list are royalty. Big deal. Princesses with billions of dollars and a tailor and endless free clothing have no problem being well dressed.)

Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton are rich. They have people throwing free stuff at them constantly. They also have the stylist du jour, Rachel Zoe, dolling them up every time they get their picture taken.

I don't believe a single one of them has any natural fashion sense. Just remember, a few years ago Nicole Richie had a mangy weave and was wearing shredded denim miniskirts on the red carpet. Suddenly she's always a 'fashion do'.

Lindsay Lohan is suddenly name-dropping couture ateliers left and right and mugging with Karl Lagerfeld when just two short years ago she was wearing trucker hats.

The problem is, Zoe doesn't encourage individuality. All her clients look like clones of each other. They all mysteriously drop 40lbs, get a Mystic Tan, add lots of blonde highlights, throw on enormous sunglasses and wear lots of bangles. It's hard to look at them anymore because they all look eerily similar.

The first time I saw what Rachel Zoe looks like, I nearly choked. She's just as deathly anorexic, tan, blonde and bangled as her little clients.

Well, now her Rachel Zoe for Judith Leiber bags are all over the red carpets in the bony little hands of her clones. I'm not just saying this because I don't like Rachel Zoe, but these are really obnoxious bags. And I'm not just saying it because I don't like bags made of pythons and crocodiles and lizards (oh my!), but these are really obnoxious bags! I understand what she was going for, but it's so unoriginal. They're over-the-top and gaudy and snooty. When I see this clutch in the pages of Us Weekly in the hands of Mischa Barton I think, "Go away. You're a flash in the pan... you and Rachel Zoe."

Okay, maybe I really do dislike the bags because Rachel Zoe designed them. I'm biased and intolerant, I admit it.