Is this the best Gucci can come up with? After 85 years in the business, this is their long-awaited anniversary bag?First thought: Could be the work of an arts and crafts class.
Act I, Scene I:
Int. a classroom of children making purses for show and tell. A lot of random textiles and buckles are scattered around the room. There is one overeager child among the bunch. This is Gucci.
Gucci
I know! Then I'll put a buckle on it so it looks like luggage!
Teacher
Well, that's very creative little Gucci.
Gucci
I know. My daddy tells me I'm super creative.
Teacher
That's nice.
Gucci
Then I wanna use all the fabrics on my purse!
Teacher
Gucci, you should save some supplies for the other children.
Gucci
But I wanna make the busiest bag possible!! I wanna put straps all over the bag... I want it to be a hobo that looks like a satchel!
Teacher
Gucci, your bag is going to be very ugly and if you use all the supplies, the other children will be left with minimalist-looking hobos. That's not fair is it?
Gucci
YUCK! Minimalist? Sick...I hate stupid Prada!
Teacher
Shh... Gucci, that's not nice. Prada's a very nice child. At least Prada's bag doesn't look messy.
Gucci
But I WANNA make my BAG! I WANNA MAKE A MESSY LOOKING HOBO AND SELL IT FOR $5000! My daddy's VERY important and I can do whatever I want. Haven't you heard of The Gucci Group? Have you? HAVE YOU?
I know! Then I'll put a buckle on it so it looks like luggage!
Teacher
Well, that's very creative little Gucci.
Gucci
I know. My daddy tells me I'm super creative.
Teacher
That's nice.
Gucci
Then I wanna use all the fabrics on my purse!
Teacher
Gucci, you should save some supplies for the other children.
Gucci
But I wanna make the busiest bag possible!! I wanna put straps all over the bag... I want it to be a hobo that looks like a satchel!
Teacher
Gucci, your bag is going to be very ugly and if you use all the supplies, the other children will be left with minimalist-looking hobos. That's not fair is it?
Gucci
YUCK! Minimalist? Sick...I hate stupid Prada!
Teacher
Shh... Gucci, that's not nice. Prada's a very nice child. At least Prada's bag doesn't look messy.
Gucci
But I WANNA make my BAG! I WANNA MAKE A MESSY LOOKING HOBO AND SELL IT FOR $5000! My daddy's VERY important and I can do whatever I want. Haven't you heard of The Gucci Group? Have you? HAVE YOU?
End Scene.
2 comments:
"I want it to be a hobo that looks like a satchel!" - bwahah!
If it was early 1700s France, Rococo-lovers would be going bonkers over that shit.
But there's a reason why Rococo only lasted about ten years.
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