26 August 2006

Olfactory Officiator

The New York Times is hiring Chandler Burr to be a full time perfume critic and write a column called Scent Strip.

Quick question: just what exactly qualifies someone to be a perfume critic? Lots of personal references?

"Chandler always had an acute sense of smell..." or "Well, when I taught little Chandler he would refuse to use the paste until he'd infused it with a subtle rose oil combined with an aromatic blend of tropical hibiscus..." or "I swear he's never used Axe Body Spray..."

Aren't perfume judgments really subjective? It's not like reviewing a movie, for Pete's sake. I mean, what if Chandler Burr loves sandalwood and patchouli? What a tragedy that would be for the faithful Times readers like myself. Unless they distribute little fragrance swatches for personal assessment, I don't see how this is going to work.

Times, Chandler... are you listening?

My one hope is that this kind of high-end criticism will prevent the next hundred starlets clamoring to make a scent from actually making a scent.

It might prevent J.Lo from releasing her 13th (or whatever) fragrance entitled Bronx Bouquet.

We can hope, right?

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