Blaspheming Blahnik

I'm probably committing fashion blasphemy, spitting on Carrie Bradshaw's grave, and losing readers all at once... but I'm going to go out on a limb. I really don't like Manolo Blahniks. There, I've said it. I've been suppressing the feeling for a long time and I've heard it's not healthy to suppress feelings. Let me please explain myself before you write me off entirely.

Blahnik 'classics' are a lot of mid-heeled slingbacks that easily look like J.C. Penny dyeable bridesmaid shoes.

DyeablesManolos
Maybe it's just my youth, but a lot of the shoes look to be targeted at middle-aged Upper East Side wives, and I am not a middle-aged Upper East Side wife. These in particular also resemble the shoes of a swashbuckling French Revolutionary man in tights (think The Scarlet Pimpernel).
And excuse me for pointing it out, but doesn't this look like the shoe of an over-fifty woman who wears far too much perfume, floral print, jewelry and lip liner?
I'm not trying to be groundbreaking or controversial (for once), I'm just being honest. I don't see the appeal. All Blahniks have the same conservative structure and shape, and maybe I'm just not conservative enough to appreciate them.

Now, give me a Louboutin, YSL or a Chloe, and that's a shoe I can get behind.

(pics courtesy of neimanmarcus.com)